ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
