new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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