So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
