i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
