I met the friendliest cop last night
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
