No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
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