I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Sext me about skeletons
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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