I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
this just has baby written all over it
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
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