she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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