someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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