Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
