Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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