after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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