I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Someone came in the potted fern
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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