I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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