did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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