we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
that may or may not have been my penis.
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