Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Randomize
