I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize