My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
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