Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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