THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
