just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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