I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
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