ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
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