I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
