Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
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