I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Randomize
