Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize