so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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