You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
