In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Randomize