she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
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I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
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He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
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