His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
