There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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