There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
