ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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