You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
