As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
