You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
