Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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