I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Do you still have your period?
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
