I want to stick my p in your. b.
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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