All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Come on in and take your pants off
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