guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Randomize
