You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
