I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
