i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
4 words: hood of his car
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
