Cold hands, warm shart.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I would ride that face into the sunset
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
