His pubic hair was longer than his dick
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
3 2 1 whiskey
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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