please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Randomize
