it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Randomize
