Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
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