Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
