i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
