i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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