i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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