Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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