I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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