Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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