Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Randomize
